He said that Joe and I should meet them for coffee this weekend, that we'd like her. I feel small and as though I would be that typical American that other countries rebuke upon hearing my American accent. I feel the burden of my country's flagging reputation, and I haven't even left my apartment.
On my day off, I spent the morning catching up on my favorite bloggers. You all write with such bravado and elegance. I feel as though we are listening to the same music. Please keep writing.
Last week I followed Megan around after work. She needed someone to hold her hand while she got her face pierced. Everyone laughs when I say that "She got her face pierced." But I can't say it anymore precisely in the time people give me to say what I want to say. You know how slowly I speak - people are too eager and impatient to hear through my slowness. Anyway, she got poked on her cheek, the blood flowed enough that I looked away, and Megan left a hand print in my newly crushed right hand. It's cute, though, her face sparkle. The man who punctured her in the face owns the tattoo and piercing establishment and usually does tattoos, so I asked him about birds, about scissor-tailed flycatchers. He whipped out a book of his work - lots of birds. He asked "Is it green?" No. "Good," he said. His name is Lee and he wants to tattoo a bird on my body. This is my bird:
What do you think? There are more pictures on Google images.
Here are my issues:
1. Where do I put it? Where I can see it and enjoy its beauty or where I can hide it if I want to do so?
2. In flight or not?
3. In color? It has such beautiful colors.
4. I'm terrified of putting something permanent on my body. If you've ever noticed, I enjoy being unadorned. There is something cleansing but beautifully mortal about taking off all your clothes, all jewelry, letting your hair fall down against your bare back and acknowledging that moment of the temporary return - the return to the moment before Eve felt shame at her nakedness, at her purely untethered self. It's a return to something that must be lurking deep inside us, something that is true and unconscious. If it wasn't there, I doubt I'd feel the way I do just before stepping into the shower. Maybe this is why I hate bikinis as much as I do; if you want to be practically naked, take off the uncomfortable spandex and feel a little bit freer. I doubt I'll ever cut my hair off because I utterly love the feeling of my swinging hair against my lower back.
But I can't take a tattoo off whenever I feel the need to be primordial or untethered to this social world. Would a scissor-tail be a part of me or a weighty piece of jewelry?
Well, if you have any thoughts, let me know. I wish I had a picture of Megan and her pierced face, so you could see how cute she is.
A good book or two to leave you with:
Instead of posting here I've been reading quite a bit, and three of the last four books I've read I highly recommend.
1. Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides - Long, beautifully written, though the last third of the book chances in tone a bit. Easy to follow while maintaining its stylistic beauty, so most people should like it.
2. One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez - Many of you may have already read this or tried to read it, and I'll admit that I had some difficulty keeping up with it, but if you can pull yourself through seemingly meaninglessness of the plot, which happens to fill 99% of the book, the last paragraph will fill your soul, and you will say to yourself, "Yes, this book was everything it needed to be." But you can't understand the last paragraph without reading the book, so don't cheat. And if you think this book sucks, well.... (I'll just shrug my shoulders and probably understand.)
3. Gilead by Marilynne Robinson - Her first book Housekeeping is in my top five books of all time. Gilead didn't come close to that but I'm certainly glad I read it. It's an easier read with less action and more reflecting on Robinson's distinctive perceptions of loneliness, Christianity, and faith. I will always enjoy Robinson's style.
That's all. Much love,
5 comments:
Welcome back to the world of blogging! You have been missed!
You know my feelings about tattoos, piercings, etc. Unnatural holes scare me enough to make my natural holes close up and shrink back in fear. Ok, so that is somewhat exaggerated and awkward, but oh well. Considering I have the same feelings about jewelry, bikinis, and the like, I'll throw in my two cents about the tattoo. The permanence of a tattoo on my body would make me hesitate and debate the action until the day I die, but maybe you are better with decision-making than I am. Let me ask this question: How often do you get the urge to rearrange, repaint, relocate, redo (I must admit, I have the image of your mom in my head as I ask this.)? If this is often, maybe you should try out an airbrush tattoo first. If this is rare, it would probably be safe to say you wouldn't change your mind about the tattoo.
Now, suppose you get the tattoo. You ask if the bird should be stationary or in motion. My vote is for the bird in flight. It represents power, grace, independence, and lofty ideals and goals. It also shows off that beautiful scissor tail. Sometimes I read too much into things. You should know, though, that the Scissor Tail is one of my favorite birds.
Tattoos.......Yes!!!.....It becomes part of your body not an attachment. This "redoer" only her body.Which is probably why I don't have one yet. Haven't changed hair styles in forever, nor altered any other body part.
I would like a tattoo and have the same concerns. Make sure you know what you want, and I would go for something like the ankle (nature doesn't change that body part too much), definitely in flight and in color.
Mine will be a dragonfly, small but mighty constanly in motion and somewhat magical.
MO
haha cool, My name is Jessica, i come from sweden and I want to tatto a bird too :P
A tattoo is a part of your body. A scissortail tattoo has the meaning of ambition. In latin a scissortail means to devour. It also has flight and freedom. I'm sure it also has a special meaning to you as well.
I have a tattoo and I also felt the same as you. I didn't want anything permanent on my temple. Also, I change my mind a lot and happen to be a perfectionist. I was really worried I would hate it after about a week.
I did. I loved it at first, when I got it and then about a week later I cried looking at it. This was to be there forever and ever. I freaked out.
But then I realized that my tattoo has a special meaning to me and because of that, it is part of me. I think another part of being upset about it was how other people thought of me. When I realized they didn't matter, I fell in love with it. I now love it more than anything. It's part of me, it is me. I now show it off whenever possible; it's a sense of self and pride in your symbolism.
I'm not saying to go off and tat up your body. Be sure it's something you know you love and that has a special meaning to you. It's one of the most beautiful things when you fall in love with it, it's like falling in love with yourself. Good luck with your decision.
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